eclipse

sometimes when you think you know and trust what is dear and honorable it turns into shit and sludge. you think you know what you want and you put that into action but then it never really comes around to the way you imagined it. of course that's life, but there's those few occurences per lifetime when you feel real good about something, some change, some serious life altering respecification. You feel so great about it and you see the sun peaking over the hilltops and it is fucking gloriously orange and today is going to be fresh like sweet fruit for breakfast. But on those few occasions you might get slapped down, real hard. You get happy happy then all fucked sideways with the wrong turn. The bitch slap irony fucking cocks your cheek into stingy realization that your expectations exceeded the probability that you had a chance of changing for the good. She loves me she loves me not, how many petals do I need to tear off, how many daisies do I have to destroy before I stop fooling myself. a thousand dead flowers does not equal true love or even concern for that matter. and the physical aspect of it all, anyway you want to view the sexual/spiritual what the fuck, just kind of reinforces the round house wake the fuck up and have a good laugh at your naive ass to the heart.