Tuesday, February 17, 2009


"This is the haunting period, the time when the demons of regret come for you."

Saturday, February 14, 2009


Faking Intelligence
Only let's you
Open up the Idiot
Living Inside.

Through a parallel Universe
The sky
in a Rose
Red like the life in us all
Petals to waterfall
millions up millions upon the roof
a swallow
through the silver Shimmer
a ring
like 306 degrees of pure oxygen
hydrogen times 2
like the Fool
The wideman doth
as is
they share this ony world like
and IT
All of IT
this world
Clear as the sky
is the question?
just have fun
the SUN

A brief eternity
What seems is seen in those dreams
is reality reality?
Gave a pull on the string of my heart
really it beats
Grace or a kick
Drums on the soul
And I thought I would try to steal some stuff from my past and post on here


Self-Destruction is the theme of the day!! So take your pills and bite your nails!! Cut your arms and masturbate !! Self Loathe!! Disintegrate!! Be Bitter and be alone!! Hate your love and think like an evil scientist!! Plot and scheme.

I was gonna try to make this blog a non-personal thing. I wanted it to be so unconnected to my personal life as possible. Just a stream of emotions and thoughts completely separate from my existence but totally joined with our existence. I'm troubled by the events of my life and the heat of my emotions have not allowed me to cool out utilizing the usual tools of comfort. I don't use my guitar to give my passive agressive monkey on my back a banana because all I can think of is that stupid fucking idiot frat boy carichature with his NY yankees cap with its unbent brim tilted slightly sideways and his desk drawer full of Flunitrazepam and condoms with his untuned 6 string in a stand at the end of his bed below a fucking Bob Marley or Sublime poster. Hijacked, fucking hijacked. So anyone who reads this, which I doubt anyone does, gets to listen to me bitch and complain about the slipping beliefs I once held and because of personal tragedy and love lost scenarios are making pack up and take a trip... in whatever sense of the word helps.

I used to be so objective. I would comfort a lonely friend with "emotions are temporary" or "all you need is you". The desire to smash all that tries to do the same to me is a pretty formative emotion at the moment and I hope to hell that "emotions are temporary."

Don't get this wrong, if you're thinking this is some kind of end note, it's not. I don't think suicide in its self is really a worthwhile venture. Of course it does solve some problems, but I believe in Karma and Reincarnation, so why create a brand new fucked situation when I can sit in the piss of this one while its still warm and not smelling of ammonia yet. Again more beliefs that are being shaken off of my crown: "Everyone I experience is a result of their own karmic pasts and they are merely playing their part as they are responsible to the universe and I need not be hurt nor angry with a mere mortal taking orders from the everything that is existense." Hahahaha, fuck that shit, it is pure and absolute filthy knowledge that I believe but cannot accept at the moment.

Fuck it, it's a phase. I'm just angry.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


The reader needs to aquaint themself with the truth. The reader needs to bring awareness to their eyes. We need to become students of the art of dissent and enlightenment. We live in a bully's sphere of influence with its fear based overlordship dangling its phallic dominance over our cringing heads. Everything shaped like a dick and we stand and yawn at the marginalization of the female in every corner of this globe.

We're a a herd of sheep bahhing for protection that we don't need. But the shephard doesn't have a crook, he's got a great big dildo-headed spear that he can either ease in, if we obey, or ram on home, if we don't.

The oppressors have used a divide and conquer platform and we've taken in hook, line, and sinker. How the fuck can we think about who is enslaving us when we are so easily distracted by our fear of Muslims, our prejudices against blacks, our petrified neglect of the issue of prisons and capital punishment. We compete on every level. I commend professor Denis Rancourt who on the first day of his senior physics class announced to his students that they would all be receiving A+'s. I think his reasoning was something along the lines of his job being to help them learn not to rank them so their potential employers would have an easier job in choosing among the graduate pool. Of course he was immediately released from his duties of creating scientists. Wouldn't it be nice if teachers were more like teachers and less like assembly line workers, cranking out american zombie after american zombie ready for the work force.

Hell, I'm a B- student, here in my senior year, on my way to my degree in Bull Shit Finance. All my class mates ask me, "why in the world would you major in Finance if you are an Anarchist?". I guess you gotta know your enemy, right? Sitting through these classes I see educated americans succombing, actually i wouldn't even call it succombing, it's more like voluntarily surrendering, to a life in which their weaknesses are exploited and vulnerabilities turned into food for conformity.

What we are involved in should be a war. This is not a system of forced compliance like that of the fascist of old, this is a system of trickery. We should be at war with these fascist fucks. We can either choose to break out of this state of numbing complacency and bondage or go ahead and recycle our culture to our children and their children and so on. Like fucking machines, replacing eachother as they break down and degredation sets in, we don't progress we just look shinier and newer and we don't make as much noise when we are being used.

Anarchists, from whatever walk of the black you stride, primitivists, communists, feminists, and just plain anti-capitalists, we need to be mature enough to understand that our enemies know our weaknesses better than we do. They know how different we are from each other. They know how we struggle and compete to live and eat. They use these facts against us at every turn. We need to work together and brandish our arms, may they be

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


The memory... my son, he used to make eye contact with me with no guilt or qualms and he makes sure that I notice him look up at the ceiling fan. He's had this fascination of things in the air since he was born. Maybe looking up is ingrained in our souls. Is that our natural acceptance of authority. We are born into this being who constantly looks up at that which can protect us and give us orders to keep us safe and warm and make us giggle and smile.

If my son grew to accept that all that was bigger than him were his master then he would definitely not smear the toothpaste everywhere in the bathroom, atleast weekly, like he does, atleast weekly. My requests as a bigger being would suffice him to oblige. His rebellion has never instilled feelings of needing to strike fear inside of him to control him. He knows that I love him and my role as a father is not to control him but to keep him healthy and safe.

Why then has our great father, the government chosen to do the opposite. Why do we keep up this charade of protector/protected when it is more of a "do as I say or you won't eat" scenario? Why is every one of our peculiar frailties preyed upon by our father?

This is actually not helping, I can't find the cohesion to make this comparison work. All I know is I love family and they rely on me. Because I am not a fucked up monster I am not going to bleed them dry in compensation for the safekeeping of them. If anything, I guess this can be a documentation of a memory that I hope to hell will never fade from me. Little Gio with his brand new eyes with the innocence of never felt want taking that ceiling fan into his smile.

Friday, February 6, 2009


I found this at whatreallyhappened.com ... and I laughed and almost cried. This is the kind of revolution we should have. Undermining Government and creating comic relief, this is stress relieving, antiestablishment good times, people. I encourage to do the same anyway here it is

full coverage at http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/20090204/hacker-road-signs-zombies.htm

Hackers are distracting motorists by hacking electronic road signs in some states as electronic road message boards meant to warn motorists of possible trouble are increasingly being hacked.
Pranksters are putting up words that may endanger and distract drivers from heeding legitimate hazards down the road saying 'zombies' or 'raptors ahead.' Just days earlier, a sign read, "NAZI ZOMBIES! RUN!!!" and "ZOMBIES IN AREA! RUN" flashed on electronic sign boards at a busy Austin intersection, just west of the University of Texas campus.
Last Monday, the electronic message on a sign in Carmel's construction zone at Indiana's Hamilton County, warned drivers of "RAPTORS AHEAD... CAUTION."
Another recent prank yesterday appeared when hackers changed a road sign along southbound Interstate 255 near this St. Louis that read, "DAILY LANE CLOSURES DUE TO ZOMBIES."
How exactly pranksters did these remains unclear; highway safety officials are not amused.
"We don't want (drivers) being distracted by a funny sign," appealed by Joe Gasaway an Illinois Department of Transportation supervisory field engineer.

Oh yeah I almost forgot here's a fun little new queer anarchist periodical I came across. It's the first issue so eat it up. http://zinelibrary.info/pink-and-black-attack-1

Thursday, February 5, 2009


"Don't be a criminal in this police state, You better shop and eat and procreate,You got vacation days then you might escape , To a condo on the coastI set my watch to the atomic clock, I hear the crowd count down til the bomb gets dropped, I always figured there'd be time enough, I never let it get me down" Bright Eyes, Lucky/Easy/Free

I have always wanted to be a song writer. I've written maybe two dozen songs in my life, maybe 2 or 3 that I would consider playing to a friend, maybe 1 I'd play to a stranger. I see the artistry of music making and shutter at how its been hijacked by the same 'ol' band o' friends'. Inspiration goes as far as a sheet of leaf, or a blog screen these days.

Where can you go to get that inspiration that should be filling your spirit. You know the un-name-able resource that keeps a smile to your face? It's tricky these days.

Maybe church? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe you're too caught up on what kind of religious person you want to be. Why not be a christian. Why not follow the Christ, he was a great example. My personal beliefs are that of life, I don't deal with death for the moment. So the question is Can being like Christ make the world a better place to live in?

I think the answer is yes, and most of you anarchists out there are gonna shudder after this sentence, but if we acted more like christ, we'd be better anarchists. I mean Jesus wanted all people to be brothers and sisters, it was the church that help support inequality and war. Jesus hated the tax collectors and the rich, it is the church that supports them and takes their cut of the wealth in the process. You can trace everything that is wrong with this filth hole of a country and I am pretty sure J.C. would agree that this is not the way it should be.

I am not supporting the notion that he was devine, I'm not even supporting the notion that he was. Hell, Marvin the Martian is easier to believe in than Jesus. But a lot of people have accepted his legend as proof of existence so I will go ahead and use that as a sort of tablet to swallow for those who believe and who don't. If you believe, by all means, make him whatever you want. If you don't believe, just use the principles that were attributed to him, because if what is said about him is true, he was actually a pretty decent guy (except for the surrender to a higher power thing, I'm sorry, you christians, but No Gods, No Masters, still apply here).

It is so human to get caught up with the thought that Jesus was devine. People want so bad to have someone stronger than themselves on their side. That's fine, but just remember, you are your own strength. That strength multiplies when we come together, when we organize. And if there is a heaven, which I could care less to question, we should agree with that one tenant of J.C.: "It's more difficult for a rich man to enter heaven than a camel to walk through the eye of a needle."

So to all those emperors and presidents who swung the sword in the name of Jesus Christ, I ask you to remember that. When you fill your pockets with loot and wipe your fangs of the blood and oil of your human livestock don't forget to peek into the eye of the needle. By your own rules you'll burn. By your own justifications, you'll burn. And I hope you don't really believe in your heaven and your hell because the after life will be pretty scary for you.

And to all you Anarchists, Leftists, Rabble Rousers, Rioters, Ravers, Students, Lovers, Sons and Daughters, Mothers and Fathers, and just plain clear thinking human beings I want you to be good christians, but not in the way you think. I don't want you to give up 10% of your wages or eat some wafer that represents someone who may not have existed. I want you to tell the first pig you see and tell him "to love his enemy as he loves himself." See if he tosses his gun and badge into the waste basket. Walk into an armed forces recruitment center and tell the recruiters "thou shalt not kill." See how many of them agree and resign their post. Give your love to the bums and beggars as Jesus preached meakness.

I know of a few people who have done this. Their names are Brad Will and Kirsten Brydum. Look em up if you don't know who they are, its worth the few minutes, I promise.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


sometimes when you think you know and trust what is dear and honorable it turns into shit and sludge. you think you know what you want and you put that into action but then it never really comes around to the way you imagined it. of course that's life, but there's those few occurences per lifetime when you feel real good about something, some change, some serious life altering respecification. You feel so great about it and you see the sun peaking over the hilltops and it is fucking gloriously orange and today is going to be fresh like sweet fruit for breakfast. But on those few occasions you might get slapped down, real hard. You get happy happy then all fucked sideways with the wrong turn. The bitch slap irony fucking cocks your cheek into stingy realization that your expectations exceeded the probability that you had a chance of changing for the good. She loves me she loves me not, how many petals do I need to tear off, how many daisies do I have to destroy before I stop fooling myself. a thousand dead flowers does not equal true love or even concern for that matter. and the physical aspect of it all, anyway you want to view the sexual/spiritual what the fuck, just kind of reinforces the round house wake the fuck up and have a good laugh at your naive ass to the heart.


Forever is not so long

Forever is not for long

I told You

Answers stay with the questions you spit

And to Pass I fill with Smoke

And my knees buckle and soul shames for the failures I purge

I told You

Not to be bad with the purpose

I have reason to realign what it is I pass

and for you I'll scrape stars and kick clouds into dust and rain

We can be what we can stress and live to die

I don't know what purpose but to deserve

The cycle and vengeance

Raw Love and World and Anarchy and Cuts are real

Emotion is Temporary

-I'm looking for fools these days, I have good friends and those who have improved themselves are seeming to disappoint me. In the greater sense of the word improvement I see something that they seem to think is sacrifice but I only see the surrender. I see great people give in to the masters and the masters' culture. I shout inside like they do about their betterment- if that's a word- and the advice I fill my cup with is promptly poured out. Why wait for your turn to talk when you can listen to imagery and improvement? Steel and Faith is what I find in them... silly.
I don't believe we live in a world of scarcity, I don't believe in scarcity or rarity or value or any form of material cost associated with the things I need or want. This world where we are forced to compete for scarce resources allocated by those in power is sham. We are looking into the ivory towers of these fucking bastard capitalists and we can see the paint flecking off and we ignore it. Scarcity is a myth, like the myths of ancient peoples used to explain and influence the peons. It was created to divide people and help those who created it to amass wealth. There is enough for everyone but that isn't in the interests of those who control the myth.

Why can't we see that sharing is much better than keeping. What joy does Bill Gates get at knowing that he makes a grand every 15 seconds. And yes, he gives some away but fuck that he does, a free nation wouldn't let someone make more money than there are seconds in the breath of my lifetime, which will be short if I don't get the job that gets the health insurance.

I don't where this is going, but its my initial post and I plan on reaching someone, anyone, somehow, somewhere, anywhere. But I believe that (1) there is only class justice in the war of capital against labor; there can be no justice for labor under capitalism. (2) law and government, as well as all other capitalist institutions (the press, the school, the church, the police, and courts) are always at the service of capitalist against the people, whatever the merits of any given case. Capitalists and government are twins with one common interest. (3) capitalists and government will use any and all means to keep the people in subjection: they will terrorize the working class and ruthlessly murder its most intelligent and devoted members.

It's time to grow strong and strange.

FUN QUOTE: "Once upon a time there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. And they grew next to each other. And every day the straight tree would look at the crooked tree and he would say, "You're crooked. You've always been crooked and you'll continue to be crooked. But look at me! Look at me!" said the straight tree. He said, "I'm tall and I'm straight." And then one day the lumberjacks came into the forest and looked around, and the manager in charge said, "Cut all the straight trees." And that crooked tree is still there to this day, growing strong and growing strange. "
Kneller via Wristcutters: A Love Story